Nearly four months ago, when the entry below was first written, I was at one of my lowest points.

I was mentally spent, going through a personal journey of grief and mourning.

I was tired. I was dragging. I was unmotivated.

Not to mention, I was physically unhealthy, at one of the highest weights I’d been since having my kids…with ZERO effort being put into my daily diet. My once-fixed exercise regimen had faded away, little at a time, until I could no longer see it.

It’s safe to say, I was broken.

The morning this was written, I did NOT change my diet. I did NOT get a workout in. Heck, I barely made it out of bed.

What did I do instead? I threw myself a pity party.

Some can argue that this was not the best route I could have taken in dealing with my situation. But I have to respectfully disagree.

The pity party WAS necessary.

The pity party allowed me to feel emotions I NEEDED to experience.

The pity party led me to finding my nutrition coach, Jerri, at Love of Food Weight Loss Counseling and my personal training team at Limitless Training…literally the next day.

The pity party ended up becoming my catalyst for action.

So let’s go back to that moment, shall we?

And maybe in doing so, I can inspire a handful of you to take action, too.

After you throw your own pity party, that is.

I’ve made it my mission since returning to social media to exert positive energy and to inspire others through my own mental health journey. In most recent days, this has involved sharing uplifting quotes and life hacks on bettering your overall self. But something I also promised myself when deciding to share my life with this small corner of the world was that I would also be real and raw and honest.

The inspirational quotes I put out last month and the daily tips for this month have actually been part of my own active treatment. I’ve been battling something internally for the past 5 years. Most days have been okay, but more recently (since I started sharing the quotes, to be exact), the days have been challenging. Although I am not ready to share specifics at this point in time (I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever be ready), I do want to admit that I don’t always see the world through the sunshine and rainbows that I often write about.

I’ve learned when experiencing these hardships that some days it’s not only okay to allow yourself to feel your emotions, but it’s also absolutely necessary. Take last night for example.

You may have seen from my Stories that I am on a little getaway with my husband, kids, and our close friends. Last night was our first night here at the Airbnb, and we had grand plans to get the kids in pajamas, let them run around and get tired, and enjoy the snowy mountain views while drinking wine into the early hours of the morning.

I unexpectedly hit a breaking point. I began to feel sad, emotionally drained, and mentally broken. I excused myself to one of the bedrooms and allowed myself to cry. And not just a few tears to let out; I’m talking a full-blown, ugly cry session with all the corresponding sound effects and runny makeup. I let out all that I had been holding in for weeks. I allowed myself to grieve a life I thought I was going to live and to mourn the woman I was so convinced I’d be. I let the tears flow with no time limit, and then drifted into the most peaceful sleep I had all week.

I allowed myself to cry. Wail even.

I allowed myself to completely feel all these bottled-up emotions.

I allowed myself to experience a world that is NOT filled with positive quotes, daily life tips, sunshine, unicorns, and rainbows.

This mini pity party was exactly what my soul needed.

I am not going to allow my LIFE to turn into this pity party, but I am acknowledging that going through it was extremely therapeutic.

So throw yourself your own pity party.

Allow yourself to cry.

Allow yourself to feel.

Allow yourself to experience.

Then, allow yourself to heal.