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  • JULY 14, 2025

    How I tricked my brain into loving chores (and how you can too!)

    The magic of stimulus-stimulus pairing, made mom-friendly.

    Before I became a mom, I was already in love – with a behavioral principle.

    It’s called stimulus-stimulus pairing, and if you’re not in the behavioral world, that might sound like a scary mouthful. But if you’re a mom, you’re already doing it. You just might not know it yet. And if you’re not, you’ll want to be!

    So what is it?

    The Behavioral Science Bit (I promise I’ll make it quick)

    Stimulus-stimulus pairing is exactly what it sounds like: pairing one activity (something neutral or even unpleasant) with another activity (something you genuinely enjoy). Over time, your brain starts to associate the good feelings from one with the other.

    In the clinical world, us behaviorists use it all the time to help our students build positive associations with people, tasks, environments, and learning. But this is also necessary in the real world – especially in mom world – because this concept is GOLD.

    And I’ve used it to totally rewire how I feel about housework.

    And traffic. 

    And the the two-hour lash extension appointment. 

    Real Talk: Cleaning Used to Make Me Cringe

    I used to dread the laundry pile. The dishwasher made me sigh audibly. Vacuuming felt like one more thing on my never-ending list. But now?

    I actually look forward to folding towels. Not because I suddenly found domestic bliss, but because I paired it with something that feels indulgent:

    My “Audible” app. My books. My time.

    While I’m folding camp T-shirts, I’m deep in a romance novel.

    While I’m scrubbing dishes, I’m flying through a thriller.

    While I’m vacuuming the crushed crackers from the rug, I’m laughing through a memoir.

    The chores haven’t changed. But how I feel while doing them? Totally different.

    How You Can Use Stimulus-Stimulus Pairing as a Busy Mom

    You don’t need a degree in behavior analysis. You just need this formula:

    Chore or task you dread + Activity you genuinely enjoy = Positive association over time

    Here are a few pairings I’ve seen work beautifully for moms:

    • Morning commute + a hilarious podcast

    • Packing lunches + your favorite playlist from college

    • Folding laundry + binge-worthy audiobook

    • Loading the dishwasher + a stand-up comedy set on YouTube (hey Sebastian!)

    The key is consistency. The more you pair the two, the stronger the association becomes. Eventually, the task itself can feel rewarding – not because you love cleaning, but because your brain now links it with you-time.

    Bonus: This Also Models Self-Care for Your Kids

    One unexpected side effect? My kids see me enjoying chores. 

    Not resenting them. Not groaning. Not rushing through them in frustration. 

    They see me plugged in and present, even while I’m vacuuming up their trail of chaos.

    And honestly? That matters.

    Final Thought

    Stimulus-stimulus pairing is more than a behavior analytic concept – it’s a hack for real life. And for moms who constantly put themselves last, it’s a way to make everyday moments feel like little doses of self-care.

    Try it this week. Pick one chore, one pleasure. Pair them. And don’t be surprised if your brain starts looking forward to both.

    And of course…let me know how it goes!

    Happy Monday, friends.